Opinions

Hi Folks,

I've been reeling way too long on opinions. Opinions that I form about other people and opinions other people form about me. I wish I could pretend to be one of those people who say that the opinions of others don't bother them. I am not yet there. I also don't really believe the majority of folks who say things like, 'Other people's opinions don't phase me, they ain't living my life.' I do not believe that I am the lone wolf of caring about other people's opinions of me.

 

I have two biological sisters. One speaks of and to me with only love, kindness, and grace. I'm ashamed to say that I haven't done enough to love up on this sister. She's amazing and a tough act to follow. Unfortunately, we did not grow up together. This sister has made the most tremendous efforts to be present in my life and I am so very grateful. I've gotten a bit better following her lead, but she far exceeds me in the family 'reach-out-and-be-there' realm.

 

My other younger sister, whom I did grew up with and nurtured speaks of and to me in the exact opposite way. With this sister, I've repeatedly shared my life, time, money, and home. Still, her opinion of me is usually rather negative.

Two sisters, two human beings with whom I share a close genetic tie. I love them both, as equally as possible.

 

I have allowed their individual opinions about me to boost or crush my day. A loving FB post or text from one has sent me over the moon with glee for a days, while a bitter face- to- face comment from the other asking, 'Why don't you just give us all a break and kill yourself?', threatens to defeat my spirit and ruin my day, week, and sometimes beyond.

 

The constant in both of these comments is me. I am Angel to one, Devil to the other and it may always be that way. That's life though, isn't it? You win some you lose some.

 

I decided a long time ago that I can't live my life based on avoiding negative opinions of others.

 

I decided recently that I won't live another moment caught up in emotional turmoil over an opinion someone has of me.

 

I wanna be clear, I'm not saying that I don't care about the opinions of others, what I'm saying is that I will no longer lose sleep or create facades of worthiness based on external commentary. I will always care for both my sisters and others in my inner circle deeply.

 

But now, I begin to care for me more.

 

So I'm getting closer to the real belief that, 'People got opinions but they ain't living my life, so I will let it be what it is...other people's opinions".

 

That's all I got for now.

 

Make today great!

Much Love,

E~

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