Breath of Love

When my son hurts himself and runs to me whining, "mommy, mommy, look, HURT!", depending on the degree of the whine and fake cry, I react in one of two ways. In either way I react, I do so most sincerely. "Oh no, are you okay?" I often inquire dramatically. He generally responds, "I'mb-okay!" Then he shoves the boo-boo in my face and I do my job which is to provide love and kisses to the area, whether I see and believe in the boo-boo or not. My job is to swoop him up into my arms, and make sure he's okay. To connect. The other response comes when there's actually a real cry and/or real boo-boo to attend. In that case, I simply reverse the preceding order. First, I swoop him up into my arms, rock him and make sure that he is okay. We connect. Within seconds he pops up, looks at the boo-boo and says again, "hurt." Again, I do my job, kisses and empathy, and before I'm personally ready, I'm forced to release my active two and a half year old because he's wiggling out of my arms to freedom, as if nothing ever happened. There are times when the healing and holding may take a minute or two longer based on the degree of the hurt, but generally after two minutes the boy is miraculously healed and on to the next amusement. As he gets older he runs to me bit less. There are times when I see him fall and before I can ask he's declaring, "I'mb-okay!"

MY BOY - MY JOY

I love that my son is able to move so quickly past his hurt because he's free to feel it, get the soothing and love he needs, release, and move on. I admire that ability.

I wish it were that way for adults. I guess we have the ability to do so. However, it's challenging, after "growing up" to find someone to run to and say, 'hurt', then to get coddled, until you feel strong enough to be released.

I've done a lot of work to avoid feeling hurt and I must confess that none of that has worked to avoid the feeling of hurt. Spiritual work has done much to hold me up and keep me focused on God and Love. Physical work has led me to know that I am determined and a triathlete. Mental work has helped me begin to be more thoughtful and disciplined with my thoughts. All this work was initiated to avoid the hurt, to avoid the heartbreak, to avoid the pain. Even after all that self-help, self-awareness, self-discovery, I still want to run whining and crying saying, "mommy, mommy, look, HURT!", knowing that I will be swooped up into the arms of love.

I bet I'm not the only one who doesn't want or need a lecture during the hurt.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who HATES TOUGH LOVE.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one who wants to feel safe when saying, 'I'm hurt.'

From all I've read and learned this year, I do know that I need to be the love I want.

So, I go forward, with arms wide open, judgement aside and just love, declaring;

'I will care for your hurt, I will hug you with no 

agendas, I will be a sincere and gentle safe space 

for you.'

The breath of Life and of God that lives in my sweet lil' boy lives in me and lives in you. I love him like that, I can love myself like that, I love you...yes you, like that.

You are safe here.

Much Much Love,

E~

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