Just because...I AM.

"There is no prerequisite for worthiness." Brene Brown

When I read that passage from Brene Brown I felt a piece of my brain explode and flower into a huge chunk of hope and forgiveness. Instantly.

I was so shocked, horrified...and then relieved to be reminded that I was taking part in the downgrading of my precious self by buying into the idea that some thing had to happen before I deserved a good - no great life of prosperity and joy.

For so long I believe that if I achieved a certain goal, lived a certain way, decreased to a certain size, laughed at a certain pitch, spoke with a certain timber to my voice I would be worthy of the greatness that seemed to be happening to so many all around me but not to me.

I was shocked and horrified to recognize that I had forgotten the greatness within that I knew so well as a youngster. The greatness I stomped around feigning as an adult as an adult has been obnoxious and full of fear and sadness.

That overconfidence was a fraud and a front. I had little trust for the truth of me and in my fear, I puffed up, literally and figure-ly. To convince myself and others that I was somebody special.

It was an exhausting routine, trying to force others to know what I didn't believe or accept about myself. It was an act that created heartache and pain more often than not for myself and others.

The external search for the thing that would make me know I was worthy
Left me wanting and empty.

I used sex, alcohol, drugs, money, human dependency, inanimate object dependency, emotional drama and turmoil, fake enlightenment and manipulation to get something that would make me feel worthy of being... Well, loved, liked and accepted by the most important people. I am in the process of re-knowing that I am always at the top of the most important people list. I'm also starting, just re-starting to know that 'what I seeks, I is.'

Just because I AM worthiness is upon me.

Just because I AM Love is upon me.

Just because I Am greatness is upon me.

Just because I AM.
Just because I AM.
Just because I AM.

Have a perfect day basking in your own I AM.

Much Love,

E~

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