Ode to Him

He, my now six-year-old son, is undoubtedly one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. He continues to amaze me. Seriously, I’ve never ever known love like this before. I mean I loved him from before he took his first breath, when I clicked my heels at the ultrasound that let us know we were definitely having a little boy. I loved him even more when, my then wife, pushed him out and I cut the cord. The love intensified and escalated that first night of his life when he slept in a little ball on my chest in the hospital. Skin to skin. The three of us sleeping our first night in our little three-person family. From there it got challenging, keeping a tiny infant alive and happy. The dynamics changed when his other mom and I separated and divorced. However, my love for him continued to grow and deepen. I didn’t know I was capable of loving like this.

He, my six-year-old son, has me falling deeper in love on a daily basis. He is the kindest, most loving and caring human I’ve ever known. Not only am I head over heels in love with him, but I really really like him. His nature is genuine and joyful. He does little things on a regular basis that astound me and help me grow to become a better person. For example, he likes to hold me and stroke my hair as I read him his bedtime stories and sing him his unique and original night-night song. He tells me that I’m the best momma in the whole world. Sidebar – he says the same to his other mom too.

He is a rule follower and very considerate of others. He sings in the shower. He delights in his independent play and loves to lay on my chest (though 60lbs. now ---whoa!) and watch a “family” movie or Steven Universe. He loves to chat while he’s naked applying his lotion and brushing his teeth. He’s so comfortable in his own skin. He know that he’s deeply loved and cherished in both of his homes and with both his mommies and his entire family.

When I was a child I dreamed of having a son. I never thought to imagine my dreams would come true with such an absolutely amazing little boy like my boy. He’s a blessing beyond my wildest expectations.

Honestly, before he was born I didn’t know if I would be able to love a baby, a child, my child in this way and so deeply since he didn’t come from my womb. The crazy part is that I couldn’t love him more if he did. Hell, he even looks more like me than his bio-mom. She attributes that to me driving her crazy while she was pregnant. I know he looks like me it’s because he’s always been my son and I his momma and the method of earthly deliver didn’t in anyway change that.

This is an ode of love to the greatest love of my life. To my sweet baby boy I am so grateful for you. Thank you my son for choosing this time, this place and me to be one of your mommies. I will do all I can to be what you need to develop into your best possible highest outcome.

You have my heart.

Always and in all ways.

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