Forgiveness

I am sad to report that I have yet to master the skill of forgiveness.

That statement is just a drop in the bucket of how hard I have been on myself. I have had resentments against myself and others for so long that I really can't begin to know what is the truth of the hostile genesis and what is storytelling and recalling of feelings that lead me to more story and expectation and less reality.

Still within there is this notion that down deep, where notions hide, in oceans of salty stories and buried tombs empty of treasure, the idea that forgiveness is instantaneous. For if indeed I can change my thought and thus my life it would follow the suit that if I think thoughts of forgiveness and release I should be able to forgive, starting with me, right?

This journey is showing me that every moment is a new one fraught with a choice in each minuscule fraction of time. Choice, I must continue to choose forgiveness. All the time. I must surrender myself in it, immerse my thoughts completely for when I am not soaked in It, I am prone to catching fiery and fierce disruption to the flow. I must be the calm in the eye of the storm. I am the calm. I am the peace I am the forgiveness.

I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be. I forgive you for and I set you free. - Louise Hay

I promptly set about re-writing the quote on a bunch of stickies with the names of individuals I must forgive on each different sticky. I need lots of reminders.

 

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