Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The Good News is...

Some readers have let me know that yesterdays post, Emotional Cancer, was rather depressing and somewhat morbid.

Good Day Folks!

One person shared, 'Erica, I know that you went thru some shit but why you gotta put it all out there? It's just too raw.'

My editor and I also thought is was rather raw and revealing. I posted nonetheless. Here's why:

When I was in the midst of the darker moments with emotional cancer eating away at my spirit and soul and in severe crisis I felt incredibly alone. At that time I was wallowing in my own pig and sure that the shitty shit happening to me had never happened before and was only happening to my poor black lesbian unfortunate soul.

When I sought help, outside of my therapist, I didn't get a sense of belonging to the world. It was cold, dark, and I was scared.

Had I found a book, a blog, or anything by a Black 30 something lesbian that shared about her depression, suicidal thoughts, cutting, etc... I believe it would have been profoundly helpful.

Mind you I am clear that there were resources out there such as blogs, videos, books, and more from people not necessary, female, black, or lesbian. But I wanted what I thought I needed and couldn't get past the differences that seemed the basis of my problems to see the possibilities.

Now that I am on the other side I am sharing my experience to hopefully let others in similar situations know that not only are they not alone, but the moments of despair pass and life truly does improve. I want to share some tools that helped me and just be a resource as best I can.

My purpose is of service and growth. This is how I'm choosing to start my ministry. Full disclosure and truth. I don't want to hid my process. I am not ashamed of where I have been, what I have done or who I have been. All of the past led me to this present moment and this present moment is a blessing. This moment is so much of a blessing that I am grateful for the darkness, or the hurt I went thru because it makes here so much more vibrant.

I know that I have so much more learning and growing up to do. I am quite proud and happy about that.

 

 

No comments:

Post a Comment