A Return to Blogging (It's been 3 years...that's a long time or not)

I’ve asked myself why blog again? Why put my shit out there, again? What’s the point and who the hell cares about my 42 year old gay black momma actor voice anyway? I’ve questioned myself a lot.

Why blog again and have my family and friends and that special someone… judge and question my motives about anything and everything I share in the blogosphere? Why am I blogging? Is it for attention? Do I want fame and fortune? Does anyone truly get fame and fortune from blogging? I know they have, I know, I know, I know. I won’t lie, fortune would be great, not so sure about fame.

Why blog when professionals in my field may read said blog and pass me by for job opportunities because they don’t like the words I share online? Why blog when I have students that will google me and then whisper and question and tell their mommas about gay Ms. Bradshaw? Then some of these mommas will contact the schools I work for and question my worthiness and teaching ability. Then the administrators will then come to me and let me know how “concerned” the parents are finally telling me that I’m really doing a great job but to be careful what I share in the class rooms. As if I share my blogging business in the classroom. I’m not teaching Bradshaw 101. I’m there in service of the students, teaching the subject assigned to me to the best of my ability.

Anyway, that that thing I just did, up there, is exactly what I don’t want to do and won't do with this blog. I don’t want to make excuses, defend, or explain who I am and how I am in the world. So, again I go back to the question, why do I want to blog?

I was recently inspired by an amazing author (Roxanegay) who puts herself out there with her words. Who had the courage to be a writer who shares that writing and has for years. I wanna be more like her. Her fearlessness and light has pulled me out of my dark corner. I’m grateful.

I am blogging again because I’ve been searching for someone to speak the words of my experience, heart and soul and haven’t found anyone who does that. I’ve been looking to read or hear a voice that represents me and helps me feel close to in the world. I’ve been looking for me and from other sources and I’ve obviously not found me.  I’m blogging again because I can’t seem to be alright unless I’m putting my business in the streets. I’m blogging because I don’t have room for anymore unshared stories, poems, essays, or opinion pieces in my closet or hard drive. I’m blogging again because since I was 12 I’ve been writing and hiding my writing. I did publish an erotica story, under a different name, oh and I wrote a solo show, White America Hero – so there’s that. I’m blogging again because I want to, because it’s time. No more excuses.

I hope you follow. But if you don’t it’s cool this is for me and my souls journey.

Read, Like, Follow. Have a Great Day! E~