Love

One of my most profound and recent epiphanies is that love by definition does not have to hurt. Love is not abusive, intentionally cold, distant and/or neglectful. Love is not spiteful or mean. Love doesn't mock, love doesn't hate. Love doesn't hit, not even once, because you may have said a truth that was negatively received. Love does not hit because you are big enough to handle it. Love does not hit because in doing so it is no longer itself. Love doesn't cheat, love doesn't betray, and love doesn't lie. All of those non-love things are simply decisions that use love as a justification for poor behaviors. However, they are not Love.

Love as defined by Random House Dictionary is a "profoundly tender passionate affection, a feeling of warm personal attachment, sexual desire or the gratification, a beloved person, a strong predilection or liking for something, a tennis score of zero, to woo or court, to embrace or kiss."

The Science of Mind, by Ernest Holmes says "Love is the self-givingness of the Spirit through the desire of Life to express itself in terms of creation."
Google says love is...

• Noun - An intense feeling of deep affection: 'their love for their country'
• Verb - Feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone): 'do you love me?'

I wish I had had the sense to look up the definition before I was 38 years old. Perhaps I would have understood a bit better what the hell I was doing.
These mid-life revelations are changing the core of who I am choosing to be in magnificent and complete ways.
A while ago a friend and I look up Love and found this verse (I'm sure you have heard it) from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7(New International Verse):

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

After reading the above I cried. Big tears. My wife and I never read that together or separately, to the best of my knowledge. Those sentiments were not apart of the foundation of our marriage. We got caught up in the doing, the co-dependency, the stuff, the trappings of the American Dream. If we ever embodied any of the above we lost it and neglected it because we had no idea how to plant and water and tend the precious seeds of Love.

While STBEW and I are no longer together and will not be united in matrimony once our divorce is complete. It is my most sincere desire that we both learn the patience, kindness, and honor of Love, so that we may pass it on to our beautiful son.

Knowledge is indeed power and as I continue to walk forward and embrace this God/Life/Love journey I am full of hope and faith. See, now that I know what Love is I am experiencing it totally in all aspects of life. Now that I know better, I get to be better, with ease and grace.

And I am so fucking grateful!

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