Learning Faith

Faith, by dictionary.com definition is defined by using many of the following words: confidence, trust, belief, obligation, loyalty, fidelity. A few of the example sentences of faith are; '...faith in another's ability.' 'He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact,' and finally 'He was the only one who proved his faith during our recent troubles.'

Confidence, trust, belief, obligation, loyalty, and fidelity are big big words to me. I must admit that while I am grateful for all moments that led to now. I also have to say that many of the moments that led to now have occurred because of my inability to fully understand words that make up the definition of faith.

I know I learned the literal definitions of all those words as a child during grade school. But damn I wish George Washington Elementary would have gone into teaching the practical application of those words!

I learned very early how to spell the words. I learned very early how to pronounce words correctly. I was even able to memorize definitions at a young age, but I never truly knew what they meant in action.

I am learning faith in action now.

Oftentimes, the learning comes the hard way.

Quick sidebar. The word that I most remember learning in school, I mean the word I learned most viscerally, in school, was the word hackneyed. It was a ninth grade spelling word and there was something about the way Mrs. Sasso defined and stressed hackneyed over and over and over again that made it sink in. Perhaps it sank in because she used it in an example sentence that I could intrinsically understand. Mrs. Sasso decided to use me as the subject of her example sentence to the class, she said, "Your mother's constant nagging is becoming so hackneyed, isn't it Erica?"

How did she know? Yes, Mrs. Sasso, yes! My mother's nagging is completely hackneyed!

That is when I knew I loved Mrs. Sasso, the tall curvaceous Italian-American English teacher, with the fabulous hair. That is when I knew. Hmmm.

Alright, I'm back...back from elementary gay girl revelry...sorry for the detour.

Anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, Faith.

I am learning faith. My faith is being tested. As I continue on this magic carpet ride into my higher consciousness and best possible self, I am aware of how shaky my faith has been and can be at times.

I'm learning that faith means not knowing how, when, what, or why and trusting with confidence that shit is going to work out exactly as it needs to work out for the highest best outcome of my soul's education.

I'm learning that faith is all about the belief that I'm one with the One and that I am therefore a creator of my life and not a victim to it.

I'm learning that my obligation is to honor the Divine within and it shall reflect that love into the world.

I'm learning that true faith is fidelity to the words and promises that come tumbling out of my mouth.

I'm learning to use conjunctions.

I'm learning that faith is the biggest word I have ever attempted to know.

I'm learning that faith is not money in the bank. Faith is the bank. This is a huge lesson right now, especially because of the seeming lack of money in my bank. It would appear that I am broke as hell but faith is knowing that I am abundant and prosperous in all ways always.

I've got a secret. Shhh, don't tell nobody. I feel incredibly rich! I mean it. I have a beautiful son, I am healthy as can be, and getting more fit. I'm loved and showered with affection daily, I have some of the best friends in the world. I also have a spiritual home that nourishes me and I've got an online community that never forgets me on my birthday, thanks Facebook! I have a lovely home. I'm blessed to have food and drink that is good and good for me. I get to do work that I love and inspires me. I've got the ability to listen to wonderful music and watch entertaining videos. Plus, I've got the knowledge and the...faith that the richness and abundance I already have is attracting more of the same into my experience.

I am surrendering into the unknown with, confidence, trust, belief, obligation, loyalty, and fidelity.

I am learning.

Faith.

And that is not hackneyed at all.

 

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